Fatherly Advice

I was just recalling some sage advice my father delivered to my then 2 year old son on the proper way to throw.
My boy was running into difficulty throwing a ball and having it reach it's intended destination. No amount of "keep practicing baby, you can do it" on my part was helping. My dad tells my child, "Always aim for the head."
After they both had a good chuckle, the game of catch continued.
I'll be damned if that child hasn't thrown truly ever since. It seems he just needed a goal.

Shaun White gum

Is it like Soylent Green? Is it peeeeple? Does it taste like Shaun? Should I? The package does not evoke images of refreshment and bubble blowing, but of long hair in my mouth. Therefore I shall not.

Butt Hair????

I am fervently hoping that the occasional foot-long hair I pull from the crack of my ass is a rogue head hair and not my butt's cry for a good waxing.

A Quote I Read

"There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream."

My take on it:

If you stop chasing it, maybe it'll stop running away.

That's What She Said

Fuzzy Blue Pegasus Blanket from Japan

Oh, fuzzy blue pegusus blanket from Japan, I must bid you sayonara. You were worth every bit of the 2,772 yen I think I paid for you. So much has happened in the 22 years we have lived together:
14 Changes of Residence
15 Awesome roommates
1 Psychotic, overly frisky roommate who really liked to sing
5 Standard beds
1 Water bed
2 States
2 Continents
1 Military Base
13 or 14 Cars
5 Cats
1 Bunny
2 Hermit crabs
2 Dogs
1 Frog
4 Goldfish
2 Husbands
1 Child
4 Pregnancies
5 Surgeries
9 Jobs
1 Business
4 MLMs
2 Long term boyfriends and some, um, other boyfriends.
Many unwise decisions.
A few instances of flagrant disregard for consequences
and countless dreams.

Surely you have some mystical, ancient powers to have seen me through over half of my life in one piece and smiling.
I did not die in an inferno when my man used to fall asleep on you while smoking. Indeed, you bear many scars as testament to your flame resistant properties.
You kept me safe and cozy in my wilder years, always providing a snuggly, queen-sized landing spot after a hard night.
You've kept unharmed, many friends who simply needed sanctuary.
You have been privy to a million tears. You alone could testify that I am not immune to a broken heart.
You've cradled my child and I through an untold number of sleepless nights.
You were machine washable.
Stain resistant.
Despite being nearly rent in twain, you continued to provide unselfishly.
You never complained.
You've never shared my secrets.
You were a true friend.
I will miss you fuzzy blue pegasus blanket from Japan.

What I Learned This Week

This:

is not milk.


In defense of what I am about to share with you: It DOES have less than 2% of Sodium Caseinate which is apparently a "milk" derivative.

It also SAYS "creamer" on the front.

I'M SORRY person who picked the wording on the container, does "creamer" not imply "milk"?
Asscracker!
Sadly, I found this out 2 days AFTER I used it as a substitute for milk in The Boy's Hamburger Helper. 2 days AFTER The Man said, "I'm just saying, that's expensive. It doesn't have a really strong flavor though."

Hamburger Helper aside... I fed my boy chemical laden, non-dairy, partially hydrogenated crap. Today I am wiser.