I am thankful for so much. I am thankful that I have so many good friends. They are so appreciated by me! Yes, all of them. You! Next I am thankful that Jenny smells like happiness and sunshine and that Wednesdays only come once a week. I am very thankful that my ass is shrinking, that someone invented the hula hoop and that I am not related in anyway to the guy that wants his eggs done "runny". I am thankful that I do not work on Sunday, that I figured out video chat and that I have 66 friends willing to humor me by "fan"ing Angelsauce. I am thankful to have a child that is both hilarious and intelligent and a husband that will let me talk and talk. I am thankful for the happiness the people at work bring and the fact that they know so much weird stuff about me and still love me. I am thankful for all the nice things people call me to my face. I am thankful I found old friends. I am thankful that I write some seriously questionable things and someone is there to cheer me on and thankful that Pat pointed out to me that I like words. I really do, I just did not know! I am thankful that the guy I followed because I was perturbed with his driving skills did not shoot me and also that I scared him a little. I'm thankful that Mike's lemonade tastes good and that Lorie likes to play Scrabble. I am thankful for laughter and beauty and the people that can find both. Here's a short list so I do not have to keep typing the word "thankful". Iced tea, a lack of marmite in my house, dancing, sunshine, thunderstorms, heavy breathing, pretty shoes, hugs, kisses, pokes, pie, 1/2 priced appetizers, freaks, music, soft jammies, air conditioning, donuts, naughtiness, white sand, oceans, french vanilla lattes, cars, toe jam, lemon curd, forehead slaps, Family Guy, stupid questions, intelligent answers, DQ Krunch Kote, Q tips, urbandictionary.com, thinkgeek.com, brothers who make good french toast, trampolines, kittens, bumblebees, desire, hope, humor, love, raw sugar, back massages and life. I'm sure the list is longer than your patience.
Thankfully you are mine. Thankfully, I am yours!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Your Application Choices
I'm am in no way judging your activities. Nor am I making fun of you. I lie! I sooo am! But whatever! You must be at least a little odd if you count me as a friend! I wouldn't know all this crazy stuff about you and your application choices unless I played the same games, or at the very least because I'm your "neighbor" for the sake of some important, yet unknown benefit. Thanks for all the "gifts" you send me. This is how I totally know you're thinking of me in some quirky, bizarre way. I enjoy the hugs and kisses, the smiles, water gun fights, the fairies and the cheese. I've gotten hammered from all the brew you've sent! I like the quizzes, the Friend FAQ's and the Christmas presents. I just never knew I was buddies with so many farmers, mobsters, chefs, vampires and knights! You island dwelling, kidnapping, roller-coaster building, poker playing, Yoville working, ichthyology enthusiasts! Goodness! You make me smile and raise an eyebrow!! So, I guess what I'm saying is..drive your race cars with enthusiasm! Fling that food with precision! Poke me! I like it. Smack people with your pillows and for the love all that is holy and great....please send Flair and Bumper Stickers, but do NOT post them to my wall! I like to keep some stuff secret! Send me lots and make 'em good!
P.S. Will you join me in Mafia Wars? I need two more people.
P.S. Will you join me in Mafia Wars? I need two more people.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I Was Hungry
I was hungry. I had to buy groceries. I don't have a house boy or anything , so I must venture to that food zoo by myself. I went straight there from work.
It was all going quite normally. I was chatting on the phone with my mom. The crazy grocery store people LOVE it when I am on my phone. My voice gets gradually louder and louder with each exciting piece of conversational excellence I take part in. I am doing ok all through the produce isles. I meander over to gaze upon the .39 cents a pound turkey, all the while discussing with my mom that I would be happy just going to a thanksgiving movie. I don't want the turkey, but the promise of a deal has drawn me over with it's invisible force. I am sure I am turning into a vegetarian anyhow (except for bacon) and even if I were hungry for meat, I will NOT be eating the hip widening hell that is Thanksgiving dinner. My quest for a smaller waist line is going well. Oddly, there are no more turkeys in the grocers fridge. Huh. What now? I spy shrimp on sale. Healthy and on sale. I had to buy something besides vegetables for a change. I swear I'm getting a green cast to my skin I have consumed so much spinach in the last month. I made it tearfully past the siren call of the donuts and I am happy with the choices I have made. I am finally off the phone and am able to look around and enjoy the scenery such as it is.
Here is a woman walking toward me wearing a brown jacket that she should have burnt after 8th grade, a diagonally striped orange and white jammie shirt that hangs mid thigh, some kind of pants and fuzzy purple slippers. WTF? Do we not match our slippers to our outfits anymore? Heathen! Anyhoo..I get the satisfaction of listening to her cell phone conversation now.. "She know I'm mad! She better not call dis phone!" Said the woman in the purple slippers. Tell it sistah!
You'll note that I used the tiny bit of restraint I can sometimes muster and did not take a picture. Bummer.
Giggling to myself, I go to check out. Old dude gives me the total. I dutifully count out my ones. He says I counted a dollar short. WHAT? NO! This cannot be. I count it over. Of course it's perfect. I tell him it is correct and that the one thing I can do very well is count. He trusts me and puts the money away. I'm smiling at my counting success and I see that the guy behind me is looking askance at my declaration that I am only really able to do this one thing well. I, feeling like a cheeky monkey, proclaim, "Of course I can do other stuff well too." Yeah. I think it came out flirty instead of cheeky. He smiled. I'm pretty sure he had already decided what that might be. MEN! Thanks again. :)
I leave the checkout line and haul ass toward the door. I was frustrated after waiting an eternity for some sloth-speed woman to figure out how to not be right in front of me. I did not even nudge her with my cart. I ought to get a medal.
I notice then (quite by accident) that this random guy I passed has a HUGE package. Huge! After an unconscious double take of his "assests", I realized that in fact he is likely wearing a diaper. I am scarred eternally as I beeline for my car.
I do not think I'll be hungry again for quite some time.
It was all going quite normally. I was chatting on the phone with my mom. The crazy grocery store people LOVE it when I am on my phone. My voice gets gradually louder and louder with each exciting piece of conversational excellence I take part in. I am doing ok all through the produce isles. I meander over to gaze upon the .39 cents a pound turkey, all the while discussing with my mom that I would be happy just going to a thanksgiving movie. I don't want the turkey, but the promise of a deal has drawn me over with it's invisible force. I am sure I am turning into a vegetarian anyhow (except for bacon) and even if I were hungry for meat, I will NOT be eating the hip widening hell that is Thanksgiving dinner. My quest for a smaller waist line is going well. Oddly, there are no more turkeys in the grocers fridge. Huh. What now? I spy shrimp on sale. Healthy and on sale. I had to buy something besides vegetables for a change. I swear I'm getting a green cast to my skin I have consumed so much spinach in the last month. I made it tearfully past the siren call of the donuts and I am happy with the choices I have made. I am finally off the phone and am able to look around and enjoy the scenery such as it is.
Here is a woman walking toward me wearing a brown jacket that she should have burnt after 8th grade, a diagonally striped orange and white jammie shirt that hangs mid thigh, some kind of pants and fuzzy purple slippers. WTF? Do we not match our slippers to our outfits anymore? Heathen! Anyhoo..I get the satisfaction of listening to her cell phone conversation now.. "She know I'm mad! She better not call dis phone!" Said the woman in the purple slippers. Tell it sistah!
You'll note that I used the tiny bit of restraint I can sometimes muster and did not take a picture. Bummer.
Giggling to myself, I go to check out. Old dude gives me the total. I dutifully count out my ones. He says I counted a dollar short. WHAT? NO! This cannot be. I count it over. Of course it's perfect. I tell him it is correct and that the one thing I can do very well is count. He trusts me and puts the money away. I'm smiling at my counting success and I see that the guy behind me is looking askance at my declaration that I am only really able to do this one thing well. I, feeling like a cheeky monkey, proclaim, "Of course I can do other stuff well too." Yeah. I think it came out flirty instead of cheeky. He smiled. I'm pretty sure he had already decided what that might be. MEN! Thanks again. :)
I leave the checkout line and haul ass toward the door. I was frustrated after waiting an eternity for some sloth-speed woman to figure out how to not be right in front of me. I did not even nudge her with my cart. I ought to get a medal.
I notice then (quite by accident) that this random guy I passed has a HUGE package. Huge! After an unconscious double take of his "assests", I realized that in fact he is likely wearing a diaper. I am scarred eternally as I beeline for my car.
I do not think I'll be hungry again for quite some time.
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