Has Anyone Seen My Little Lost Sleep?

Somewhere between then and now I have lost the ability to make it through an entire night without waking up. "Then" being pre-child, pre-pet, pre-I give a shit about what actually happens in the world. "Now" being as close as last night, because I still harbor optimism concerning the rest I'll receive in about an hour.
I can understand the pregnancy problems that kept me up..excitement, worry and a little tiny foot pressed firmly against what I affectionately referred to as my "pee box". Combine all of this with an attractively rounded body and a rogue wave producing water bed and, well, I hope you get the picture.
I can also understand the baby waking up in the middle of the night, the little noises that will shoot an exhausted woman out of bed, completely certain something catastrophic has happened and all the other unmentioned things that take place the first few years of a new life.
But, I have now officially gone with out a good, solid night of sleep for more than 10 years. I will even lie to myself concerning what constitutes a good night just so I can have one! Without fail, EVERY night, the fates conspire to wake my tired ass up at least once if not 4, 5 and 6 times. The dogs decide it's a good time for love, the boy (now ten) still wakes up in the middle of the night, the street light outside my window goes on and off and yes it wakes me up. My husband, bless his hard working hard sleeping self will add to the fray with the ODDEST noises you've ever heard! My particular favorite is a sound like an inquisitive gopher. (made in a dead sleep at the back of his throat) My boy, being a very close genetic copy, also makes the same noise. My floor squeaks, the phone rings, there is loud snoring, the dogs think they hear an intruder, I'm restless, I think and think and think....why can I not sleep?!!!
Just when I get really, really deep in to it..about 2 hours before the alarm goes off..yep, a fucking woodpecker. Yet, I still have hope. I am the eternal optimist. I will continue to give it my all.